Well, the holidays have officially arrived, being marked by the short Thanksgiving work-week. I know every year I say that they have sneaked up on me, but we all know this isn’t true. Holidays, as with any exciting milestone in life, hold such hopes and anticipation that when they finally arrive, we feel that there is no way we could have prepared for them. Am I hasty to speak in the collective “we”? Is this true for the rest of you?

For me, this holiday season will me marked with change – again. Of course, last year was Brian and my first Holiday season together (married), and so we got the exciting change of juggling multiple family traditions and gatherings. It was a great time of course (you can’t beat three Thanksgiving meals in one weekend), and we’ve looked forward to establishing our own “traditions” during our second holiday season together, since it really takes more than one Christmas to call something a “tradition”.

This year though will mark a change of a different sort for me, having lost both my grandparents on my mother’s side of the family (my only remaining grandparents). My grandfather passed away the second weekend of August after a very short diagnosis of cancer a month earlier. My grandmother passed away just last week after fighting cancer for many years. Of course, losing people who are close to you can make any season more difficult, but it’s especially hard when those people have been sort of the cornerstone for celebrations. We would always go to Nanny and Papa’s house for Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas Eve dinner (along with Easter dinner, rounding out our three annual family gatherings). All my aunts, uncles, cousins would be there, and though nobody lives too far away, these occasions really were the only times we would all be together.

I guess there’s bound to be a time when generations divide and begin celebrating with their own families, and since many of my cousins have and are starting new families, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Still, it feels odd that this year will be the first that we don’t gather together for Thanksgiving. In fact, I kind of wonder if I will even see certain members of my family on any regular basis anymore. Just writing that out, I feel a bit guilty – whose fault is it but mine if I don’t see my own family? But we all know these things happen, and whether it’s everyone’s fault or nobody’s fault doesn’t really matter – it’s tough being the person who makes sure everyone’s in the same place each holiday.

Thankfully, Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful (teehee), and I truly am this week. While it’s hard to believe both my grandparents are gone, I know that neither of them would have wanted to be alone for very long, and what a blessing that they are together again! I also have many other things to be thankful for, not the least of which is my upcoming graduation in December. What a burden will be lifted from me!

Each semester, about three weeks before the finish date, I go into “impending doom” mode. “Impending doom” mode has many symptoms, including irrational behavior, sleep deprivation, and lots of complaining (I’m trying to work on that last one!). For instance, last Fall semester I found myself creating thorough “escape plans”, including the highly-profitable gift-wrap business I could start in the case that finishing a degree was more than I could handle. The following semester found me inventing “fun” scenarios in which I would magically finish all my assignments (for the record, “Caffeinated Code Night” was slightly more successful than “Drunk Code Night”, though neither truly lived up to its title).

This year, I’m not sure what my plan of attack will be, although it’s beginning to look a lot less like an escape plan or a magic martini night, and a lot more like “senioritis”. The voice in my head tells me, “Can’t finish that Economics paper? Don’t. You can still pass the class. Barely, but that’s all you need.” Voices in my head, you say? I promise I’m not sleep deprived. It doesn’t help that Lander’s new schedule means that my grades won’t be cleared in time for graduation – so I can walk across the stage and get my diploma cover whether I pass my classes or not (diploma being mailed a couple weeks later). Add to this the fact that I just got a promising email offer for a cheap diploma (”Any degree field you want – No Examss/Books/Tests/Interview/Classes required”), and I’m getting less and less worried about my schoolwork by the day.

Of course I only jest. You all know that I couldn’t miss an assignment deadline if I tried. Regardless, I do think my anxiety is lessened by the comfort of knowing that I will be graduating in a mere 18 days. 18 days! My heart leaps at the thought.

To any who are reading this, thanks for continuing to follow my spotted presence here, or subscribing (question – are there any subscribers? I’d love to know if there are. There is an RSS feed here but it’s not advertised, though some browsers will pick it up).